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A new entrepreneur struggles with cash flow.
A couple months ago I hired two part-time employees. I knew that they would both be necessary as I could no longer handle the workload alone. But the question was, do I hire them now even though there may not be enough work for them, or do I wait until I’m really desperate and insanely busy and then bring them on?
I went with option A, thinking it would be better to train them and get them situated during a slower time rather than throw them into a “sink-or-swim” situation. All went smoothly. . . until the first payroll came around and there was not enough cash in the bank to cover it.
So, I took the money out of my personal account and didn’t pay myself. This was not exactly pleasant, but I felt okay about it. After all, I knew going in that it would take some time to bring in enough business to cover the added expenses.
Two weeks later when the same thing happened again, I was not nearly so calm about it. I recall one day when I felt thoroughly panicked. I sat on the train to work fighting back tears as the following thoughts ran through my head.
These people are depending on me for their livelihood and I’m failing them.
Just because this business is my calling doesn’t necessarily mean it will succeed.
Why am I doing this at all? What if I’m just not cut out for this?
Maybe I should just quit now and get a regular job.
Uh. . . God? Where are you in all this?
At that moment it occurred to me: I should call Alicia (one of my colleagues, a fellow designer, business owner, and person of faith). I knew she would be able to offer encouragement and make me feel better about things.
Well, I got to the office and got caught up in my work, and didn’t call her. Later that afternoon, she called ME - to say she was in the neighborhood and ask if she could stop by! She brought me a lovely Christmas card and gift. . . and agree to stay for a bit and talk when I told her I really needed her help!
So I told her about the situation and mentioned it was the first time since I started the business that the thought of quitting crossed my mind. Alicia rightly observed this thought was just fear talking. She said that anything done out of fear, rather than out of faith, is a sin. It would be fine to quit and go out of business if that were an act of faith, but clearly this was not my situation. I felt a ton better after talking to her, and I was amazed that God sent her my way on one of the lowest days I’d had in quite some time!
Yes, I’d been praying for money and positive cash flow and all that good stuff. . . but it occurred to me that I’ve also been praying for growth. In my experience, real growth only takes place when we’re forced out of our comfort zone. So, in a way, I was getting what I’d asked for - challenging situations that increase my capacity for both faith and leadership.
Read more from this blogger at Spiritual Entrepreneurs.
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