Home  Relationships Beyond chocolate -- spiritual comfort for hurt feelings
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Beyond chocolate -- spiritual comfort for hurt feelings |
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By K. Proctor
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Criticism drives this solo entrepreneur to a spiritual analysis.
I’ve noticed that when a client of mine responds in an unkind way I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I’m no wimp, in fact I used to be called a bit hard around the edges – at the least I am a person who is very self-confident.
Unfortunately I’m noticing this reaction because there have been a few bumps in the road lately. Specifically, a difficult client (who I wrote about in my last blog,) and now a tough email reply from a client who sent a copy of the email to 3 other superiors of his instead of just working through the draft with him. That feels like he is ridiculing me in front of others and now I have an upset stomach.
Clearly my mind is affecting my body and I don’t want to let it do that anymore. I realize that I need to address and eliminate the upset in my head so that the stomach reaction will disappear. Avoiding the problem won’t make it go away.
I can sit here and feel sick the rest of the day and complain about it to anyone who will listen (but since my office mates are 2 cats that won’t help). Or I can look at this from a spiritual perspective and see what is really going on. So I’m sitting down and blogging through this issue.
Let’s take the email issue that came up today. My options are: - I can sit around and feel like I’ve been wronged by this client contact who would rather try and prove he has more talent than I have in front of 3 others than honor what he offered to do – which was to be a sounding board.
- I can try and get it off my mind and do other work.
- I can hate being a small business owner and dealing with these issues (but I realize they happen everywhere – not just here).
- I can eat chocolate.
- I can step back and address the issue in my thought.
I realize that option 4, ooops I mean 5, is the best option for getting past any sick feeling in my stomach.
I like to clear my thought and look afresh at a situation in times like this. Here’s what I’m doing now:
A) Think about God, His role in my life and my business. Affirm His closeness to me and His leadership in my day and my life and acknowledge he guides me in each right action and communication. This means I don’t have to react (in mind or body or in an email) but can find the best next step without involving ego.
B) Think about the role of God in the larger world – not just governing me but everyone in the universe. That being the case there is no unkind motive driving anyone since God is the guide of each person. And surely God’s guidance never includes action that includes any kind of negative motive.
C) Think about my own talents and reaffirm that they all come from God and that I have the talents I need when they are called for. I can’t be lacking any skill or idea that would benefit a client of mine. And with each step being God-impelled that includes the right action and comfort in each step. I can’t be anxious about a response or a view of me that isn’t good. All I have to do is embody as much of God’s talents as He gives me and move ahead with good motives and the desire to bless. And God takes care of the rest. (This idea hits me hard and really is what I’m going to focus on especially.)
D) I can also be grateful for what is going right in my day and stop focusing on the bad stuff. Why do we let the bad stuff take over? Why can’t good take over? I say it can and I will let it. For example, today I had a nice lunch meeting with a client and we had a great chat and really got some good new ideas for working together. And that felt good.
I’ve found that being a sole proprietor means no one really says “good job” - like a boss or maybe a fellow employee. In this gig, you have to defend your thought from the negative ideas that would try and pile up on you and see through them to what is really true – what God defines as true for me (because what He sets as the reality for me – is the reality for me).
I won’t allow myself to feel sick, not when I know God is in charge and He would never put me in a situation where I feel sick or am hurt in any way. It’s time to clear the mind and body.
Now I can move ahead with more confidence and a better feeling about myself, my work, my day and my body. And I can admit I did option 4 too – and boy was that piece of dark chocolate tasty. Read more from this blogger at Spirit and Entrepreneurship .
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