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Being an influence for good.
Remember when you were a kid, and your little brother would copy and mimic everything you did? So you tell your parents, "Travis is copying me!" And your parents would say, "Travis, quit copying your brother." But as soon as they turned their back your tool of a brother would go right back to copying everything you did? Finally, you just put on your walkman headphones and sigh, "Such a dork!"
Yes...I was that dork!
It is only more recently in life that I have learned the value of mirroring, as well as its downfalls. In improvisation, mirroring is taught as a way to enter a scene with another actor, picking up and mirroring their activity, and thus helping you get on the same page - which equals telling a more cohesive story. Now that I have almost finished the wonderful book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, I discover that mirroring is actually a survival skill learned from nature. And, we all do it!
Yes you do! All of us...we do it everyday!
What happens when you get in an elevator with a stranger? You either look at the floor numbers like everyone else, or you stare at the floor. That is what everyone does - so you do it too. Most of the time, we aren't conscious that we are mirroring when we're mirroring - but we all do it.
When you walk into a meeting (staff meeting, creative meeting, etc.) you unconsciously pick up on the tone of the room. You can feel whether there is tension in the room - or if this is a happy-go-lucky group. No one needs to say a word, but you feel it. In these situations, whether we know it or not, we will begin to mirror the tone of everyone else. Our body language will reflect their body language - and our overall demeanor begins to look and feel like everyone else's.
Now, this can be a good thing - assuming it's a positive environment, but what happens when the environment is hostile and negative? If you're not careful, you can begin to mirror and reflect the same attitudes.
Believe it or not, everyone we come into contact with on a daily basis has an influence on us - and we have an influence on them. Do you remember the last time someone smiled at you when you passed them on the street? That kind of interaction has the potential of making you feel good for the rest of the day (and you might not even know why). Conversely, can you think of a time when one minor negative altercation sent the rest of your day into a negative tailspin? It happens to all of us.
So, how are you influencing others?
Are you making people feel good about themselves - or are you giving them a negative vibe?
This is really a powerful influence we all have - and I really think we all want to do good, but we get all caught up in what is going on in our lives that we become less aware of how our thoughts, attitudes, and body language can influence those around us. In Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy writes, "Your influence for good depends upon the weight you throw into the right scale." Whenever I read this quote I think of the Scales of Justice - with the scales being tipped in favor of justice and truth.
Well - we have the same potential and opportunity. As you walk around your community, interact at work, as well as how you treat family, friends, and strangers - how much are you influencing for good? Which side of the scale are you tipping?
We talk about co-workers needing to be more supportive - but do we support them? We want drivers to be nicer on the road - but are we impatient with them? You wish your boss would just put his ego aside for one minute to see your side of the story - but are you willing to put your ego aside to hear his side?
If we don't like what we are seeing - don't mirror it. Instead, try to represent the example you expect to see in others - and you may be surprised at the results. FYI - this is another great exercise to try the next time you are flying - and watch how calmer and more peaceful the other passengers become.
Mirrors are great when we like what see - but when we don't, maybe we need to change the image we see in the mirror. When it comes right down to it, all we are ever seeing is the reflection of our own thoughts and ideas. So if you don't like what you're seeing, force yourself to see something better.
And remember what your dad used to say, "Listen, stop copying your brother or I am turning this car around and heading home! I mean it!"
No one wants that!
Have a great week :) P.S. I was always trying to get the attention of my big brother who over time had learned to tune out the very frequency of my voice. So, this is what people in my family heard when I was trying to say something to my brother Tiger, "Tiger...Tiger...Tiger...Tig...Hey Tiger....Tiger...Tiger...Tig..." and then someone would have to finally say to my brother, "Tiger, will you please just answer him?" Then, he would finally say, "What? I didn't hear him." Read more from this blogger at Travis Inc.
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