As a worker in transition, I’ve felt the crunch of not having regular paychecks lately. But I have bills to pay like everyone else. Money trickles in from little jobs I pick up here and there. I don’t use credit cards any more, but I still have an old balance to pay. But I couldn’t make the payment the other day because I didn’t have enough in my account.

I had some choices. I could hold back and wait to pay the bill till I earned more money, or ask to borrow the money from my roommate. I didn’t like either choice. Borrowing a large a sum of money from my roommate would set a pattern of relying on her for future bills. Likewise, not paying the bill, or paying it late, would mean the company would have reason to raise my interest rate, and naturally I didn’t want that.

I got quiet and was half expecting to hear the divine Accountant’s command, but I was surprised when instead it felt more like infinite Love answered the call. It was just this calm feeling that I had nothing to fear. Hmmm. No numbers. No directions. Just love.

About an hour later, some friends called with a computer problem and asked me if I could come down right away and fix it. You bet!

On my way, I was praying that it would be something I understood and I would be able to fix it and they’d be happy and pay me.

But try as I might, I couldn’t fix the problem. I’m not the Geek Squad! I kept praying.

After getting more information from the couple, we decided to call another tech who had worked on their computer recently. He assured us that he could come back and look at the machine again - his work was still under warranty and there’d be no additional charge.

Afterward, the couple and I talked over some other issues that were troubling them, and I gave them some suggestions they hadn’t thought of yet. They were so grateful for my help, they paid me much more than I would have charged them, paid for my dinner, and gave me an advance on some cat sitting I will be doing for them in the near future. This added up to what I needed to pay the bill. Exactly!

The next day as I was depositing my pay, I found myself wondering if I should make a partial payment that would allow me to keep a little cash in my pocket, or pay the whole thing and be left with zero in the account.

Zero in the account has always been a very scary thing for me. What about gas? What about food? Eeek!

But again, it was not some celestial bean-counter that answered. It was Love assuring me that all is well.

The idea came clearly to pay the entire bill, even if it meant a zero balance. If I had nothing to fall back on, I would have no choice but to trust divine Love to take total care of me.

This broke the assumption that I had to have a job in order to have an income in order to have security. But what if, in fact, the divine supply is always turned on?

Well, in fact, that was the point. I needed to trust God exclusively. I needed to let go of my fear, and trust to Love exclusively.

I paid the bill. This left me with a total of 3 cents in my account.

And amazingly, I don’t feel broke at all. I feel an unexpected joy and freedom.

I’ve never been in this kind of financial situation before. I like it. No middleman bank balance between me and my feeling of security this time. I don’t have any money to speak of, but I also don’t have any outstanding checks, no bills due for several weeks, and a few days before monthly fees would be taken out. Whoopee!

My roommate/landlady assured me she’s not going to kick me out, but other than that, financially I really don’t know what is going to happen next. But for the first time, I’m not afraid.

It’s just Love and me. And no middleman.

For the sake of a proper climax to the story, I'd like to say something exciting happened, but I'd be lying. Right after that, I got two more little jobs: A friend wanted a computer lesson and another wanted help getting groceries and sorting things at her house. Together, that made the $100.  And after than, I got two more little jobs. And tomorrow I have another one. And it just keeps coming.

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