Home  Relationships Difficult employees?
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By Curt Edge
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This blogger finds the key to improving business relationships with lessons learned from his family relationships.
Throughout everyone’s business career there are relationship challenges. At one point in my career, my boss was almost unbearable to work for. I couldn’t please her – everything I did seemed to fall short or be done poorly!
Regarding co-workers, they have run the gamut. Those who will do anything to climb the corporate ladder, and those who rely on the coattails of others.
I have also had employees who have been overachievers – and I have had my share of underachievers. Some staff has been easy to work with while others have been very difficult – some need little supervision, and others seem to be major time sink.
It seems to me that there are some analogies that can be drawn here. What if we took our bosses, co-workers, and employees and exchanged their titles to something very comparable – say – parents (mom or dad), your brothers and/or sisters (or perhaps your close friends), and your children?
I know I thought I could never please my dad. He was tough – an alcoholic, child molester, abusive and just not a very good person – but I still had the need to satisfy him. Growing up with six brothers and sisters had its ups and downs. We blamed each other for everything, just like many co-workers do. And I have children – three daughters. They did all the things children do – some good, some funny, and some stupid.
Yet, the way we treat bosses, co-workers and employees is far different from the way most people treat their families. With families you get more than one shot. At work, maybe you get a couple of passes, but if you continue to mess up, odds are you are cast away and forgotten – fired! Yet for most of us, we spend more time at work than we do with our families.
So what have I learned? I forgave my dad before he died. I washed the slate completely clean. I told him I forgave him for all the bad stuff, and I told him I loved him. Yes, I felt better, but my dad was changed. I told him I loved him three or four years before he died. And in those remaining years he was a changed man. His guilt and shame stuck with him, but he knew that I loved him and he wanted him to be a part of my family’s life...which he was until he passed.
My brothers and sisters? Man, we use to have some fights!!! Now? We still have some issues – but, every time I talk with one of them on the phone, the conversation always ends with “I love you”. Old things are forgotten, and each day is new.
My children? They have grown into wonderful adults, and they know I love them unconditionally. Yes, they still mess up, but they always know I will love them no matter what.
What’s the takeaway? If we treated our bosses, co-workers and employees with the same compassion and forgiveness as we do our families, wouldn’t we see them grow? Just as our families have grown? Grow in ways we counsel them when they do something wrong – not yell at them, but gently counsel them. When they have a setback – urge them to get back up and fight another day – never give up! Encourage them by letting them know that you support them unconditionally. Yes, they may not work out in the end as an employee, but if you counsel them and encourage them, they will find their right home and success – just as our children do when we encourage and support them in their dreams when they are young!!!!
Dreams may not always come true – but without encouragement and support they will NEVER come true.
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