tina
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workplace intimidation - 2006/07/17 13:51
i am at a loss i do not know what to do .my 16 year old son had to be driven home sobbing uncontrolably during work after 2 bosses yelled at him and continued the goings on even accusing him of beeing an attention seeker.the till did not add up after his shift but 2 other people were using the till.a woman who was sacked by previous owner of the buisiness for causing trouble in the work place has also started on him.he now wants to throw his job.how can i convince him that the work place is not usualy like this and should i report it
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chris
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Re:workplace intimidation - 2006/07/17 18:15
tina -- oh gosh, my heart goes out to your son, to comfort him. I wish I could say that intimidation doesnt happen in jobs, but it can...in my first job I felt like I never could please my boss and she was often harsh to me and others. Many times I cried on the way home from work because she was unreasonable. In other jobs, i have been accused of doing things that were not my fault (they were other people). So, what is the defense? It took some time, but this is what I learned I must do: ask Spirit what was really going on. Like, am I the child of God or not? and if I am, then I must be good and honest and intelligent. When I really believed this, I could be at peace. Next, I had to see the boss as the child of God too...this was harder. But I learned that when I could really do this, it felt like I had armor on! and the verbal attacks would bounce off me. In other words, I didnt take them into my thinking and believe them. I chose to believe what God was saying about me (and my boss) and not the boss  What is interesting is that when I got peaceful and confident in how God saw me (and not my boss), things would change: either my boss changed or the job changed or other people around me changed jobs. The point being that I changed first: I focused on how God created me and not the attacks of the boss. Then the right ACTIONS took place...so, i dont know if you should report it or not, or if your son should quit. But first, your dear son needs to feel loved by his Father-Mother God...then he and you will know what to do.
Hope this helps.
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mtosto
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Re:workplace intimidation - 2006/07/17 19:00
Dear Tina,
I'm sure you’ll get lots of good ideas from the folks in the SpiritOnTheJob.com community. I’d like to add one little suggestion: If you and your son would read the book, “The Gentle Art of Blessing,” by Pierre Pradervand I think it will strengthen your courage to take the lead in that bad work situation and help it get better.
Pierre begins his book by telling about a difficult situation he found himself in at work and how it threatened to consume his life, his poise, his joy and even his spirituality. A group that was trying to force him out had put him in a difficult job situation. He became obsessed with these “persecutors, as he called them. He writes:
I knew I was harming myself but despite hours of meditation, prayer, and spiritual study, this obsession clung to me. I felt and behaved like a total victim!
Then one day, a statement in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount struck me as never before: “Bless them that curse you” (Matthew 5:44). Suddenly, everything became clear. This is what I had to do. Bless my former “persecutors." Right then and there, I started to bless them in every way imaginable: in their health and their joy, their finances and their work, their family relations and their peace, their abundance and their goodness. The ways to bless them were endless. By blessing, I mean wishing from the bottom of the heart, in total sincerity, the very best for that person-his or her complete fulfillment and deepest happiness.
So, I hope this is a practical idea of what you can do in the NOW, without making some big complicated project out of it. Just a quiet thing, and totally selfless – but packed with the power to change lives, give meaning to yours, reduce the overall amount of hatred in the world.
Let us know how it goes!
Blessings,
-mario
Post edited by: mtosto, at: 2006/07/17 19:02
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Jeff
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Re:workplace intimidation - 2006/07/22 00:12
tina - honesty and hard work are what Jesus based his life on. Continue to prop your son up on the lords' words and work - introduce him to a good christian church with strong family values and other children with similar values and strengths. It sounds like you are on the right track though - seeking help and showing your son the love that he needs. Show him the way that is the most true - look what happened to Jesus - and he was "the greatest of these". Persecution comes from fear, loathing , hatred and the unknown. Maybe his work is to be directed toward church, or even donating time to those in need - or maybe he is to be the example for these people. Have him stand strong and know that what he is doing is right, true and correct. The environment sounds dicey though - he has been thrown to the lions - read him Daniel's story in the Bible - he will see he is not alone and God's Love shines through in any situation - we need to seek it and it will guide
blessings and regards
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David
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Re:workplace intimidation - 2006/07/22 21:29
Dear Tina,
One of the great and beautiful truths of life--one that offers a constant source of strength, sustenance, and hope to me--is this simple but profound notion: we can't always control what happens to us, but we can always choose our response. What an inspiring and empowering concept! Imagine: no matter what happens--no matter how awful or
wrongfully others behave toward us--we can choose to stay positive and focus on a solution rather than the problem. So often in life, the source of our suffering is not what happens to us, but our attachmentto--our expectation of--some different course of events. It's important to us that we are treated well at work, and if we're not, we feel like victims, and wallow in hurt, anger, resentment, thoughts of revenge, or
any number of other negative emotions. And the sad truth is, we have chosen this response. No one can "make" us feel bad or react negatively to external circumstances; only we can choose to suffer in this way.
Tina, the best thought I can offer is to encourage your son to let go of his feelings of hurt and resentment--his attachment to his expectations of being treated well--and focus instead on finding a new job or some other positive solution. You can counsel him that every situation, no matter how painful or difficult, provides an opportunity for learning and growth. In the long run, this will help him mature and evolve into a responsible and happy adult--one who is in control of his emotions, and
who experiences the freedom and power that comes with that control. The worst thing you could do, I believe, is to rescue him from this current situation (by "reporting" or otherwise reacting to his bosses' actions)or by enabling his reaction by fueling his emotional upset.
David
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